Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
