He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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