I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
