my sisters under your porch take her home
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize