I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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