She's JV to your varsity
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
