Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize