This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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