I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
