I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
