I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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