All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Less talking, more tequila
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
