Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Acid is not a monday night drug
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
