Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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