Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
