Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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