i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
