so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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