You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize