he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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