she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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