i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
