she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
