If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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