scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
don't judge my taste in strippers
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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