And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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