Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
