once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i out mim tonsoeep
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