Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
