never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
