in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
