This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
