My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
farters have to be the big spoon...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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