I love black thongs
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
