i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
