I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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