instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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