Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
