I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
