I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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