i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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