p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
