Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
