That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
