He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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