we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
