Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
