Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
