I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize