Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I hate your face
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
