Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
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