drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
