ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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