if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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