this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
