He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Holy shit dude........stairs
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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