brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
