called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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