is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
