I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm both gender and math confused
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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