What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
