Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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