god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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