Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize