after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize