week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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