Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
