is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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