I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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