I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So vagazzling was a success
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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